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Who's On Your Team?

A reflection and question

Ashley C. Ford

Oct 30, 2021
3

The feedback from yesterday's post has been overwhelming, and it made me wonder why. I knew, or I hoped, Part One of my conversation with my dad would be useful to someone who read the post. I didn't know how many people have dealt with similar issues in their own lives, and the lives of people they care about. Because these conversations are edited and condensed for space and clarity, I didn't get to include one of the comments I made to my dad after he expressed how he struggled with his mental health as a young man. I think it might be useful here.

I asked him, "Dad, who would you have talked to about your feelings? Who was on your team at that time?" And he said, "I didn't know if I was good enough to have a team." I know how that feels. I spent many many years believing the same about my life, that I had no one on my team because I wasn't the kind of person who deserved to have people who loved me and protected me. People who could hear me when I was troubled, and encourage me, or just sit with me in the middle of my fear, sadness, and rage. I was wrong, of course. Even then I had family and friends who would have fit the bill, but it wasn't really about them. It was about me, and how I saw myself. How I didn't allow them to be the team I needed because I didn't communicate my needs.

Today I'm asking you, who's on your team? And if you don't think anyone is, is there a chance, even a small chance, you're wrong about that?

Talk soon,

Ashley

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3 Comments

  • Stefanie OConnell Rodriguez
    Writes Too Ambitious
    I find my team has changed a lot over the years. And only now, in my mid 30s am I finding those people I really trust to be my team members moving forward. It's been interesting. Especially these past two years.
    • 30w
    • Author
      Ashley C. Ford
      Having watched a bit of your stunning trajectory over the past couple years, it seems like there would have had to been a lot of shifting in your life, and that always comes with new needs, right? It's wild.
      • 27w
  • Virgie Tovar
    Writes Body Positive University
    "I didn't know if I was good enough to have a team." 😭 I am both trying to practice (1) more unconditional acceptance of others and (2) being really clear with myself about the qualities that I'm seeking in the people on my team. Those qualities includ…
    See more
    • 29w
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